Interview of most secular Indian news channel’s ultra secular reporter on Ayodhya verdict

By Himanshu Acharya

Here is the interview of one frustrated reporter, who went to Ayodhya day before the judgment (30/10/10). He and his news channel have presumed that Secular High Court will deliver ultra secular judgment. That’s why they have made environment that whatever HC judges deliver, accept it since last seven days. So what were their presumptions;

•    Ram idols will be immediately shifted
•    Land belongs to Dear muslims only, no one else as they are ruling there for centauries
•    Ram is imaginary creature.  

Now, after the not so exciting, neutral, totally reverse to their assumption judgment by the judges, he and his superiors stumbled totally. I have taken interview of one such reporter (there are so many like this) to dig his feelings.

Q 1: Is this is a secular judgment?

A 1: Of course not. It is clear cut biased judgment.  In a democratic country like India, where Muslims have equal and somehow more right to leave, as they are poor minority, it is totally unsecular,undemocratic, unsocial.

Q 2: What arrangements you and your channel have made in the studio?

A 2: We had made ample arrangements, like;

• We has prepared a set without Ram idols and grand Masjid at background and created environment like real Ayodhya.
• We had already booked most secular persons for the Hot discussion(penal) which includes Shri Teesta Setlwad, Hon’ble Javed Akhtar, Shri Manu Singhvi and many more (we got so many such people freely), some muslim lawyers for analysis the judgment in detail.
• We had also prepared a list of other places like Ayodhya where we have a chance to build musjid.
• We had our special correspondents at BJP and RSS headquarter to make people see empty houses after judgment.
• We also had planning to relate this verdict with Gujarat 2002 and prosecute Narendra Modi for the same.

There are few more which I can’t tell in detail. 

Q 3: Is this verdict will be challenged in the Supreme Court?

A 3: Yes, definitely there is no doubt about it. Even if that muslim waqqqf board backtracks (like samjauta, direct talk), we will provoke them to go Supreme Court, after all we also have some social responsibility. We have lost this time but we will surely win in SC, because we have some secret plans to inject secularism dose into SC Judges. This time these two judges are fundamentally strong. You will see this next time

Q 4: What kind of Breaking news headlines you had prepared?

A 4: Now you come to my favorite topic, My channel has given me this special task some 15 days ahead and I have prepared so many good punch lines, like;

•         “Slap on BJP,RSS and Hindu Extreminists”
•         “It is the WIN of the Secular thoughts”
•         “High Court has given verdict for the Century”
•         "There is total silence at the BJP and RSS headquarte"
•         "Sewaiyas, Biryani has been distributed all over India"
•         "There is Ramzan like atmosphere all over India"
•         "Door open to prosecute Narendra Modi in Secular India"

There are few more which I don’t want to disclose.

Q 5: Now when the verdict is about, what will you do to show your channel as a secular?

A 5: We have backup plan prepared, but we have not expected it. Now we will try to do following things so that our minority members hurt minimum, and majority will enjoy minimum.

•         We will not directly go against this judgment, but we will surely project this judgment as judgment given by local Panchayat.
•         We will also show public the real face of two judges.
•         We will constantly tell our secular fans to go for Supreme Court
•         We will invite BJP spokes person for panel discussion but will not give more chance to speak.
•         We will repeatedly tell OUR hindu fans to restrain from celebration.
•         Importantly, we will not take this news longer than week, and try our level best that fool Indian people forget about the same.

Q 6: According to you what should be the criteria for Panel of Judges for such judgment?

A 6: Actually, it is not at all accepted to have 3 judges in a panel and that toooo, two hindu judges. There should be minimum 4 or 6 (in even numbers) judges in bench. Best suite is 4, because 2 muslim judge, 1 hindu judge and 1 secular judge OR 1 hindu, 1 muslim and 2 secular (result will be same). Do it (my advise to center) and you will surely have the most balanced secular judgment whenever needed.

Q 7: So you think being a secular Law can also be juggled?

A 7: It is not jugglery; it is about sympathy, love towards minority. And yes if CBI, Police, Election Commission, Commonwealth can be tweaked why not this………..I will not disclose much on this, because it is against our commitment, journalism spirit, ethics (ha ha ha ha ha). We can not speak anything against our financers and sponsors.Even if we speak, we will carry that news in off peak hour and that also for a while.

So friends, after giving answers to these 7 questions, my dear secular friend run away, because official judgment copy arrives. I will surely catch him again if you readers are interested.

Please comment out your view. I would like to hear more secular information from readers.

Author can be reached at himanshu.acharya@gmail.com